Steve, You Idiot

Mike Elgan over at Computerworld has made it very clear that Steve Jobs has once again screwed Apple. Introducing the iPhone was a huge mistake. The stock-option backdating scandal is obviously the only reason he introduced it in January instead of waiting 'til June.

And it's just what I've been saying all along. It doesn't do what all the other products do.

It doesn't have a make-up mirror.

Even the 8 Gb model won't hold as much video as a device with more memory.

It would take literally thousands of them to properly insulate a two-bedroom house.

Since it won't differentiate alpha energies, it's useless for discriminating between plutonium and radon.

It does not provide any of the B vitamins, and has no significant antioxidant properties.

It's a rectangle. How last century is that?

It doesn't have a floppy drive, a subwoofer, or Dolby 7.1 capability.

Boy, Steve Jobs sure is stupid

It won't print Encapsulated PostScript files.

Also – just like they did when Apple announced the switch to Intel – people will hold off buying lawn statuary and Kitaro CDs while they wait for it to come out. That was pretty rough on ol' Apple.

He announced it too soon. He should have let the FCC announce it for him while he was waiting for approval, then wait six months to sell it. Stock-option backdating scandal

Preheat the oven to 350 ºF.

Cisco filed a lawsuit against Apple. Apple just can't handle a lawsuit.

Apple's phone looks just like some other phone somewhere that no one has seen a picture of yet. Apple might get sued. (See Cisco).

Keep your head up. Don't stand flat-footed

Then there's the stock-option backdating scandal that must somehow be related although nobody knows how.

Damn, Steve. I'm really disappointed.

Hey Mike. How's your multi-billion-dollar corporation doing?