Oh, and One More Thing

Have you seen the new iPhone ads?

If you don't get wood you're a girl. Simple as that. I recommend a dry towel on the chair for ladies.

June 29th is the announced availability date.

As we go to press, we are able to confirm a few features that will not be included on the new phone.

The iPhone will not have the Universal Remote Control package.

Due to weight and comfort issues, the corkscrew, toothpick, and nail file features will not be included in this version.

This version will not include a flashlight.

The cheese slicing knife will not ship with this version, but the back of the iPhone can still be used as a cutting board with a third party cheese slicer (Belkin is rumored to have one ready to go).

Despite numerous complaints the iPhone still will not play 33, 45, or 78 RPM vinyl records, CDs, DVD, HD-DVD, Blu-Ray, 8-Track tapes, Cassettes, Mico-cassettes or DAT.

The iPhone will not include a silent dog whistle, x-ray specs, or the Charles Atlas dynamic tension system.

It will include a "sparkling drop of retsyn."

It will help with the heartbreak of psoriasis, if after you buy it you use an effective medication according to the instructions.

It guarantees that normal healthy persons will lose weight if they eat less and exercise more.

And of course, this version promises to have no markings on any part of it that would indicate that it has ever been in the same room as a Zune.

That's enough.