Thursday, June 14, 2007

The iPhone has New Competition

It's all over the internet. The other cell phone companies are wetting their Dockers® over the iPhone. They've formed a consortium to offer music. They're going to offer high-definition Hollywood feature films on their phones before they get to the theaters. They're giving away a free toaster for renewing your contract. Every new customer gets a blow job or a box of Godiva chocolate-covered cherries.

As far as official reporting goes, there hasn't been a single successfully completed iPhone sales transaction. Outside of people whose paychecks are signed at 1 Infinite Loop, nobody owns an iPhone.

The other cell phone companies would be a lot less panicky if all of their offices and factories burned to the ground overnight. They have insurance for that. There's no insurance against having your ass handed to you in the free market.

In fifteen days, it's gonna get ugly out there people. Ugly. That is if you don't own a few shares of Apple. It isn't too late. Apple's gonna hit $14o just in time for "Back-To-School." Then Santa Claus will stuff a few iPhones in a few stockings. If Apple isn't trading at $180 by the end of the year, I'll eat my leftover pasta fazool.

I'm serious. (Okay. Not real serious.)