The Numbers are In, Baby.

Biggest quarter in Apple's history.
The stock is tanking.
Hey. I bought some more. Life was good. Then it went down some more after the bell.
Shut up.
The stock will hit $300 before the end of the year.
Or it won't.
In either case I don't see me selling.

Anyway....

The Yankees and Red Sox are playing in Glendale in a couple of weeks. It's gonna be a slow weekend in Miami. The Phoenix area won't even notice the influx of RVs with the "always on left turn signal" feature. It isn't like they'll stand out from the crowd in February.

Also...

The web is still awash in punditbots nattering about the horrible lack of features in the MacBook Air Jordan. A short list of the features it lacks includes:

A cassette player
Passenger-side air bag
A lift gate
Hand rails
FM tuner
Vertical and Horizontal Hold controls
UHF/VHF/Shortwave
Magic Seal®
Optional Automatic Transmission
A "Dolphin Safe" sticker
Splash guard
Ambidextrous safety switch (heck, even a Beretta 92 has that option)

Also, Apple hasn't even pretended that the MBAJ is free of trans fats, certified organic, and hypo-allergenic.

So, to be fair, the MBAJ is just a total train wreck. It's "the new Cube," according to one punditbot. I'm really depressed. Worse than that, iPod growth is slowing.

If you really need to paint something black – I mean, if what you do for a living is make pessimistic noises – there's the way to do it. Analyze a company that sells more of its stuff quarter over quarter over year after year for ten years, and say, "growth is slowing."

Eighteen point four billion dollars in cash. Apple could acquire Connecticut, treat the whole population to dinner, and have money left over for a massage and a haircut.

Growth is slowing.

Shit.

Asshats.

I'm gonna crank up some Taj Mahal and Robert Johnson. If you're coming over bring whiskey. Don't worry, I'll share.