Monday, January 07, 2008

I bought in.

When Alan Mulally came to Ford, I bought shares. The man's resume is impeccable. He's the guy I would have picked to turn around a corporate behemoth like FoMoCo.

Until now.

Dogdammit all.

What in the name of all that's good and true and right is he doing installing a Microsoft system in perfectly serviceable cars? Damn.

Microsoft SYNC is going to SUCK. People are going to buy cars expecting them to be responsive to commands. Good frigging luck, suckers. If you want to see proof that Microsoft can't handle a consumer market, look no further than the utter failure of SYNC.

Driver: Call home.

Car: Nome Alaska Chamber of Commerce. How can I help you?

Driver: Wrong number. Sorry. *hangs up*

Driver: Call home.

Car: Jim Rome's radio show. What is the subject of your call?

Driver: Sorry, wrong number. *hangs up* Motherfucker. I said CALL HOME!

Car: Directions to the mall. Turn left on Elm. Proceed 6.8 miles. Turn right on ---

Driver: OH! You useless piece of shit call my fucking WIFE. WIFE. WIFE. WIFE. WIFE.

Car: Life threatening emergency. Dialing 911.

Driver: You suck. You suck. You suck. YOU SUCK! *drives into bridge abutment*

Car: Accident location: 25th Street and ...

I can't wait. I just wish I'd sold my Ford at eight bucks a share. Now I'll end up sitting on this loser for three years waiting for it to break above my original purchase price so I can minimize my loss.

More bad news.....

Apple is compromising to the dogdamn studios on rentals.

Bahwahahahahahahaha. Apple played the studios. Played them. They set the bar low. Maintained that they wouldn't go below x. X was bogus. X was a better deal than they really wanted. Apple was looking for the best deal they could get. They bet the ranch. Now Apple will get movies at close to their baseline. They might get somewhat less than optimal in all cases, but it will be about what His Steveness thought was right from the beginning.

Wow. Apple won't get an unreasonable deal. They will get a deal at the high end of reasonable at prices that consumers will be willing to pay. That sucks.

The studios will accidentally deal fairly. The record companies will follow suit. Eventually.

Even more bad news....

John C. Dvorak thinks Bill Gates will be back to MS after his CES farewell. JC Dumbass is predicting that Bill's swan song is just a shuck and a jive. He's full of shit. Again. His reasoning is specious at best. If you want to go to PC Magazine online and read it you can. I did. I don't recommend it unless there isn't a football game on TV that you want to watch. Or maybe you need to trim your toenails or feed the cat or water the ficus. There must be something important you have to do.

Gates is a rat leaving a sinking ship.

More bad news. I mean it never ends...

Apple's stock price went down. Again, today. It's still just a shade more than double what it was this time last year. Damn it all. I'm almost ready to cancel my membership in Fanboys Anonymous.

Depressed yet? More to come...

Apple hired the frigging Avon Lady onto the BOD. Ding-dong. The iPhone-shaped bottle of iSmellgood (filled with Aqua-Velva) can't be far behind. I am depressed.

Are we out of beer?