Friday, February 09, 2007

The Record Companies

Guys, guys. guys. Stop kicking a songwriter for just a minute or two. Just for a little while let the record company run itself; drag your heads out of your asses and listen up. I'm a customer. You guys seem to be all about somebody else. The customers who think about you at all think you're morons.

Here are a few facts you might want to know about your customer.

1. There is no such thing as copy protected music. It doesn't exist. Really. It's Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the tooth fairy. Copy protected music is Joe Biden's chances at winning the White House. It's beyond nonexistent. If I want a song so bad that I'm willing to buy a CD to get it, I can share it. There isn't a frigging thing anybody can do about it. Bust all the P2P sites you want to. Sue everybody who ever had Limewire on their desktops. Guess what. You can't stop, "Hey! You wanna rip this CD?"

2. As long as there is copy protection on a file, I don't want it too bad. Especially a low quality audio file. Why would I pay $0.99 for a low-res song I can't share when I can get the same song for the same price on a CD? Because I can buy one song at a time? Nice try. If I just want one song I can download it for free. Somebody somewhere has it and is willing to share it.

3. I don't rip off my music. I prefer to pay for my stuff. I like believing I've done the right thing. Not because I feel sorry for starving smarmy talent agencies or slimy shitbags in neckties. I like to pay up because it's the right thing to do and that's the way I was taught.

4. Everybody knows that Record company moguls are far more interested in protecting their own compensation packages than about the "artist." They're no more interested in the well being of the artists than a grocer is interested in the well being of a roll of toilet paper. When they get up on their back legs and whine about the rights of "artists," everybody with functioning brain cells knows that they're really talking about their own Christmas bonuses.

Finally, 80+% of us are too stupid to steal, so we'll keep paying over and over for the same songs. We don't want our city streets littered with greasy men carrying cardboard signs that say "Will screw a musician for food."