Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Depression Sets In

It's a natural extension of stupidity that the stupid are unaware of their condition.

I have received an article from The Onion in my email. As it turns one of my acquaintances who is of the Windows Faithful, and has a lifelong irony deficiency sent me this:

CUPERTINO, CA—Only a month after the much-heralded announcement of the iPhone, Apple CEO Steve Jobs confirmed that his engineers were already working around-the-clock on the touchscreen smartphone's far-superior replacement. "We looked at [the iPhone's] innovative user interface, the paradigm-shifting voicemail, the best-in-class mobile browser, and we realized we could make all that seem ridiculously outdated by the time the product becomes available to customers in June," said Jobs, who described the project as "Apple reinventing the iPhone." "When the second-generation iPhone comes out this fall, we want iPhone users to feel not just jealous, but downright foolish for owning such laughably primitive technology." Jobs also hinted that the second iPhone device would not be compatible with existing Mac computers, third-party peripherals, or any future Apple products.

For those who don't know, The Onion is a satire site. Humor. The Onion makes fun of everything.

1. It's supposed to be funny.

2. It's made up.

3. Moron.

To make it even more ironic, it's probably pretty close to true.

It's exactly impossible to own a cutting edge technology device. Exactly impossible. The only company that even makes innovative stuff is Apple. If you own an Apple product, it's not nearly as cool as the stuff they're playing with in the lab. Only Apple can do that.

Microsoft can't innovate software beyond what will run on a Dell and an HP with equal aplomb. Dell and HP can't build anything that won't run Windows. Decisions are made by inter-company meetings and innovation that isn't killed immediately in committee is killed by the bureaucracy. New ideas are killed by a thousand gutless middle managers striving for adequacy.

Apple can come up with something cool in software and then tweak the hardware to make it work. And vice versa. You'd better come up with something Steve thinks is cool or it's your ass.

Is the iPhone going to ancient technology in August? Hell, it's old news in February. If Apple doesn't have something even cooler in the pipeline, they'll have to change the name again – to Dell.


I don't care much about politics as a general thing. Certain people poke their heads up from time to time into the public eye and just annoy the shit out of me. Some of those people are politicians. Some are actors/actresses or musicians. Whatever it is they're famous for they annoy the crap out of me, not because of their politics but, because they say really stupid things.

Al Gore is one of the many who have mistaken the ability to be heard with the need to say something. He reminds of the guy in the office that can't change his mind and won't change the subject. Even if you grant that a lot of scientists agree with him, he's still crazy as a shithouse rat. And scientists don't necessarily impress me either.

For example:

In the 1970's scientists said margarine was better for you than butter.
In the 1980's scientists developed imitation margarine that was better for you than margarine which was still better than butter.
In the 1990's trans-fats were found to be more harmful than butter. Trans-fat and yellow are the two major ingredients in margarine.

I decided in the 70's that man-made stuff may be tasty, but there is no way that a substitute manufactured by scientists is better than the real stuff. I ate butter the whole time. Still do.

If you think scientists are smarter than you, you probably haven't met many. I have. I live among them. I know their customs and folkways. On a percentage basis, scientists are no smarter than an equal number of file clerks. It would be just as easy to get 10,000 scientists to believe something idiotic as an equal number of baristas. So 10,000 scientists agreeing on something just doesn't impress me. They're just people. No smarter or dumber than an equal sampling of kindergarten teachers.

I think man-made global warming is a crock of shit. I've never seen any science to show me that it isn't. I'm smart enough to get the real science if it's logically presented in plain English. I still haven't seen it.

To people who ask, "What if it's real and we don't do something about it?" If it's real, there would be available hard science supporting it. There isn't. It isn't.

No. I'm not going to go listen to Al Gore. Not because of politics, but because the guy creeps me out. When forced, I'll admit to being conservative politically, but I'm not a Republican. I think they're a bunch of leg-humping leeches just like the Democrats.

Nurse, plasma. Stat.