Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Yeah. This is good.

First, let's talk about me. No wait. Let's talk about my new Mac Pro. Frankly, that's all I ever really want to talk about anyway. Okay? It rocks.

Imagine having a supermodel spot you across a crowded room. Your eyes meet hers. As she slowly begins to walk towards you the crowd parts. All eyes are on the two of you as she walks staring into your eyes, swinging her hips, licking her lips. With each step she eases a bit further out of her skimpy clothes. The room is silent. The DJ turns off the record. All that remains is the spinning light from the mirror ball. She finally reaches you, wearing nothing but high heels and a sultry smile. All that can be heard, echoing to all the walls of the disco is the sound of the two of your breathing.

She bends down to you. You can almost taste her breasts. She whispers in your ear, with breath that smells of strawberries and champagne, "Is that a new Mac Pro?"


"Can I...?"

"Fuck off. Buy your own."

Yeah. It's that cool.

And Now The Frigging News

Analysts and fund managers drove Apple's stock down today because they're stupid. They'll drive it back up tomorrow night because Apple is going to report ass-kicking earnings for the third quarter.

iPhone News

Hey! Feckin Hell. You can hack an iPhone.

No shit. It's a computer.

These security experts are jumping up and down like they found a used rubber in a front pew on Easter Sunday.


If you make it your goal in life you can hack anything eventually. Even an Apple product. It doesn't make headlines when people hack other products.

An analogous headline for hacking an Apple product is "Man give birth to living battery-powered toaster-oven with preheat feature and built in egg timer."

Hacking any other product equates to "50-year old man has hemorrhoids, male pattern baldness, and a nice collection of polyester shirts."

Apple gets headlines. Microsoft gets hemorrhoids.

Zune News

My daughter and her boyfriend met someone who owns a Zune. The Zune owner reports, "It's okay."

The top story on the Zune News site: "Is Zune Dead?"


'Nuff said.

Vista News

My daughter (notice a pattern developing here?) just bought Vista to install on her Mac Book with Parallels, because school stuff requires her to be able to run a Windows version.

Daughter reports: Vista sucks.

Other Stuff

Everybody else bought "Harry Potter." I'm reading "Dune Hunters." It was written by Brian Herbert from Dad's notes. I'm pleasantly surprised. The writing is crisp. The story is interesting. It's weird but it's cool. I'm digging it. Become a full-fledged Dune freak before reading it, though. Otherwise it won't make any frigging sense at all.

I have fulfilled my vow, Christian.

Now I'm going to go fart around with my new 'puter for a while.