Apple Stock Closed at a New All-time High yada yada yada

Wow. This is huge. I'm going to go ahead and order the full meal deal and supersize the fries.

Read somewhere the iPhone is a babe magnet. Woo. Hoo. That aggravation I don't need.

The way I understood that, if I invest six hundred religious tokens in a geeky fantasy it will attract people whose main mission in life is to redirect the investment of my religious tokens from cool toys to new shoes and fuzzy toilet seat covers.

Did I miss anything?

Fortunately my body style, sour disposition, and ever-present spouse are more than sufficient to overcome the attraction that might be caused by even such a powerful phenomenon as the iPhone. Good thing. Besides, it isn't like I'm going to be getting one soon anyway. My review model never showed up, and the money I might have used to buy one was spent at the local Les Schwab store putting a set of tires on my daughter's car.

One of these days my old Razr will fall out of my pocket one too many times. Then I'll get my iPhone.

Zune News

Microsoft has a new plan where Zune users can get paid for sharing songs. It's kind of like a pyramid scheme, except that it relies on having more than one Zune user in "squirting" distance. The chance of that happening accidentally are roughly the same as the odds of having the winning PowerBall ticket knocked out of your hand by lightning. Twice.

After they hear about this bold move by Redmond, Apple will probably direct the janitorial staff to pay a little extra attention to that coffee stain in the carpet outside the break room.

Vista News

Vista has been on the street long enough that somebody, somewhere must think Vista is just the coolest, baddest, über-raddest OS on the planet. There must be at least one person Jonesing strong for it.

If you find one, let me know. So far this being exists in my head as a theoretical necessity, like people who think, "Oh Boy! Liver, wax beans, and boiled okra! My favorite meal!" They must be out there.

Shoot. We're out of Cheez-Its.