Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Really Stupid Rumors (or Apple Closes at a New All-Time High)

The iPhone Nano. The next big star in our galaxy.

No. Seriously. If I was an analyst I might figure out that Apple's next step would be to launch a feature-free POS phone that looks like an iPod Nano. Then I'd say something like "they have a patent for dialing numbers with the click-wheel."

Ooh. Wait. It gets better. Then I'd make up a story about how Apple would be selling this little brick by the end of the year. Then I might say something about how it won't be restricted to one carrier and it would use 3G and have a 105-key keyboard and a wireless mouse and free flying toasters for a screen saver and a pair of jumper cables thrown in for good measure.

Then if I was even stupider, like say a fund manager, I'd pad my mutual fund with a bunch more shares of Apple stock based on the rantings of idiots. So what if I'm running the price of the stock up a couple of bucks based on absolutely nothing. My retirees in Florida will thank me later.

Further, if my brain was no more active than an equivalent mass of 5.25" floppies, I would report in the tech press that big things were happening with Apple based on the stock price being jacked up by rumors driven with second hand information about patents that may or may not have anything to do with a specific device in the development process.

And then, if I really had nothing at all to say, I'd start my own blog for the simple joy of laughing out loud at morons in public.

Time for another cup of French Roast. Excuse me.