Monday, July 30, 2007

Stupid Crap in the News

Hillary's cleavage made the news. The news media can't get a fix on her positions on war, domestic policy, abortion, or whether she wants soup or a house salad with vinaigrette, but at least we know they're staring at her tits...

There's this site called "24/7 Wall Street" that has a classic example of a clueless analyst writing for them. Douglas McIntyre writes,

"...the Mac can't be counted on for this kind of growth in future quarters. It is now becoming a big enough thorn in the side of the large PC companies that they are likely to start to push back with new products. And, overseas PC companies, particularly Lenovo, are moving into the US with new products..."
I guess nobody told him that their new products are the ones currently getting the Vista kicked out of them...

Some bozo is suing Apple for misleading marketing about the battery being hard-wired into the iPhone. I'll bet you a set of used guitar strings, it's a lawyer. Double or nothing, Apple wins...

There's this wikipedia guy who's pissed that Google has a monopoly on search. Now THAT my friends is the dictionary definition of bullshit. There are scads of search engines. Nobody is locked in to Google. Google has done some cool stuff. They're a business so they're trying to (surprise!) make more money for their shareholders – which seems to be working for them. There's nothing wrong with being altruistic, but if there's a way to make it make money there's nothing wrong with that either...

People all over the web are trying to figure out what Apple's new product will be and when it will be introduced. Here are a few suggestions:

A drip coffee pot with a carafe you can pour from without dripping.

Underwear that don't creep up.

A digital camera that idiots like me can use to just take pictures. Please. Seriously. Damn.

Also, I'm hoping they open an Apple store in Spokane. My kid is going to college there. When I visit the store I can stop by her apartment and say hi.

Apparently I'm going to get a part in the upcoming local production of Peter Pan. A pirate I think.

Wait. There are still some good crumbs left in that bag.