This is just silly

I don't like to do it, but I had to. The link is to Mac Daily News. The issue is the article in PCSomethingorother Magazine by this guy Oliver Rist. The MDN article gives the article in question more than its due, and to be fair O.R. does say some things that are true. None of it is new, though. Stacks is kind of ugly and annoying. If you're on a Windows network, you may have some difficulties. So Mr. Rist does mention a few things about Leopard that are indeed bugs.

I called the article a turdburger because it tries to draw comparisons between Vista and Leopard that simply aren't there. Vista isn't even a quantifiable entity. There are too many versions, for one thing. Then factor in the different hardware combinations it could be trying to run, and all the different vendors selling them.

I seem to recall that a substantial number of the problems related to Leopard is being blamed on third-party software. Isn't there more third-party software for Windows than Mac? How much of that is causing problems with Vista?

Are there any differences between the way AMD and Intel processors handle commands and information? I honestly don't know the answer to that question. But it wouldn't take much of a delta to bring down the whole structure.

It's impossible to even build a narrow range of how Vista is going to work without a detailed look at the version and the specific system on which it will be installed. A big, bad, multi-processor system with an assload of RAM might make Vista Super-Deluxe with Bacon and Extra Cheese look really good.

Leopard is written for a minimum set of hardware specifications. Apple decides precisely what hardware to support with a given update. That means if the system meets the specs, Leopard should run fine most of the time. There is only one version of Leopard. You can guess pretty well how Leopard will work.

Those are just the superficial differences. Microsoft and Apple have fundamentally different philosophies on what the user experience should be. Factor that in and the remaining similarities vanish.

It's like comparing apples and potatoes.

Okay. Now I'll take my pills.

First, to clean up a bit...

Google "Oliver Rist Pissing" if you're interested in a turdburger. I read it. You don't have to. It's crap.

Anybody here having any trouble with Leopard? I'm not. It's been running just about constantly since the day after it was released. There is one minor boo-boo. For some reason, I can't play my remote speakers via the AirPort Express at the same time as the computer speakers. It doesn't come up that often, but I used to be able to do that.

I wouldn't call that riddled with bugs. I've been running my computer constantly except for installing 10.5.1. I mean 24/7. All day long. From the Friday night it shipped until this precise moment. It just works.

I haven't had any problems with Vista either. Not one single glitch. Largely that's due to the fact that as close as I've been to Vista is walking past it on my way through the software aisle at Best Buy.

There will be those who say that Rip Ragged is a jackass for dissing a piece of software he has never tried. I have never even seen Vista operating on a computer, but yet I have the unmitigated gall to say, "Vista sucks." I've never tried malaria either. Malaria sucks. Malaria is an infectious disease that overloads your system and renders it inoperable. So what's the difference between that and Vista? Oh. Yeah. With Vista the infection is voluntary. So, okay. I'm a jackass.

Remember when I told you about using the scroll button when you roll over iTunes? In QuickTime, it moves the time slider.

That's it. One jackass (maybe two), one bug, one big "Vista Sucks," and one undocumented feature. If you're not 100% satisfied with the content of tonight's Rip Ragged, your money will be cheerfully refunded.

Don't forget to tip the Hat Check Girl on the way out.

Late Breaking Developments

Okay, not really. Just general B.S. from surfing the web all day.

Amazon's new Kindle tries to mimic the experience of reading a book by having a keyboard for notes in the margin, just like books. It looks a lot like a book, in that it has a cover that folds over its screen and keyboard like all of Robert Ludlum's novels. Apparently its power switch is in about the same place as you'd find it on, say, Moby Dick.

I was trying to figure out who might want it.

I love new gadgets that make things I like to do easier or more fun. I read about three books a year, maybe four. They're always on; they never need new batteries. Infrequently I loan them to friends. Less frequently I get them back. That doesn't seem possible with a $400 DRM box. So, as gadgets go, I can't see much use for it.

My wife reads a ton of books. She hates gadgets, though. She's had an iPhone for two weeks and still hasn't figured out how to put in a voice mail greeting. That frigging Kindle monstrosity would piss her off in a big way.

It might make a nice collector's item in a few years. Maybe in a museum of ridiculous ideas.

What would be really cool is an internet device with a web browser, email, a stock tracker, a weather app, and maybe YouTube, iTunes, a calendar, clock, calculator, Google Maps, that also downloads books in a standardized format. Maybe it could have a multi-touch screen. You could turn pages by sliding your finger across the screen, kinda like the way you'd expect it to work on, say, an iPhone.

It could have the same basic form factor as an iPhone, but maybe bigger. Like, twice the width and height, and the same thickness. Then you could sync it with your computer on the web, using something similar to .mac.

That would be sweet. Just don't make it brown.

Does Leopard Really Suck?

I keep reading that Leopard has bugs. My copy just keeps humming right along. People say Apple shouldn't have released such a buggy program. Tiger is on version eleven for crying out loud. It still isn't perfect. Leopard will never be perfect. It's freaking software, man. Get with the program (no pun intended). It's getting better faster than Vista is, though; it also started better than Vista.

Microsoft has the FUD machine running full tilt. It has become okay with me, though.

Once I have dispatched my duty as a Christian and a man by spreading the good news that you can indeed have a computer that just works, my conscience is clear.

Turkey breast, mayo, salt, sourdough: Utopia.

I do not hate cats. I just don't think I can eat a whole one by myself.

I've been doing research

In my lexicon, research means reading crap I'd rather not read.

David Maynor has been ripping on Apple again, for security stuff. It seems that Leopard is less secure than Vista. Macalope even agreed that Apple misrepresented the security of Leopard. I tried to read it all, but it had lower case acronyms in it, so it might as well have been written in sanskrit. Beats me.

I read somewhere that there is malware in the wild that exploits all kinds of weird shit on the Mac. I haven't heard of any attacks, though. What gives?

I'm still malware free as far as I know. Am I the only one? Maybe it's because I'm way up in the Pacific Northwest and the bugs don't like it here. I mean, it's snowing.

The new Zunes are selling like sunblock at a Phoenix nudist camp according to some reports. I still haven't seen a second person carrying one. The fact that it still looks like butt doesn't seem to be a problem for some people.

Somewhere else on the web somebody posted that XP is way faster than Vista in every single tested benchmark they tried. I wonder if they evaluated the graphic qualities of both Blue Screens of Death. Vista's is probably prettier.

Apple is just in huge trouble everywhere you look. Never mind that they're building iPhones as fast as they can, and selling them in almost every country that has a viable currency. Forget that the Apple stores are reported to have a tractor beam that sucks people out of the mall commons if they walk within twenty-five feet of the door. Ignore that e-tailers are back ordering iPods. Except for the fact that Apple is selling hardware and software at a ferocious pace, well, they're in bad shape.

Look at the facts, dammit. There are maybe a hundred people in England bitching that sometimes they don't get a good signal on their iPhones. Leopard is not perfect. Seagate hard drives in older 'books are turning to shit. Here's the scary thing: There are people out there who think that (close your eyes if you're squeamish) Apple is not perfect. Dog Dammitall. As a fanboy of the first order, that just makes me want to weep.

Apple isn't perfect? Man. It gets worse. People are saying that Leopard has actual bugs. Feckin' Hell! No! Unlike Tiger, which was absolutely flawless in every regard the day it was released.

Wait. No. Let's rethink this. I think Apple is kicking ass.

A few random observations:

1. Apple upgraded Leopard within a few weeks of issuing it to fix identified bugs. Apple will continue to issue security upgrades and second dot versions until, and probably after, 10.6 is released.

2. I've never heard anyone ever say that Apple is perfect. Have you? Ever? Apple's products are excellent. They just work. That doesn't mean they never stop working, or never have bugs, but long odds are in favor of having a good experience with products and service. I've learned that over 20 years of using them. Excellent is different from perfect. We fanboys are smart enough to know the difference.

3. I haven't heard anyone recently claim in an unpaid testimonial that any Microsoft product is excellent. Not that it couldn't have happened, but I missed it. I sure don't know of any sites that exclaim from the rooftops how wonderful life is now that they can run Access on Vista.

4. As soon as Apple gets it perfect, they'll be out of business. Their business is making technology better. If there is no "better" there is no Apple. At the point where perfection is achieved, Microsoft will be in charge again.

5. As long as some people believe that mediocre software-by-committee running on generic hardware is good enough, Microsoft will be making money.

6. The Seattle Seahawks really need to beat Philly this weekend.

Does anybody buy the plain old original Triscuits anymore? All that flavored crap is just annoying.

Oh, the pain of it all

Apple has warned investors that Boot Camp may discourage developers from developing Mac applications. That's a shame. With the exception of games, Apple seems more than eager to fill any voids left by developers.

Just look at iLife and iWork. There is no peer for those application suites, particularly iLife. With a Macintosh ecosphere to work in, you don't need much else. Oh yeah, Office is a more powerful and bloated system, but it costs hundreds instead of $80 for iWork. For the average guy who already has all that at the office, iWork is just fine for around the house stuff.

And there just isn't anything available at any price to compare to iLife. If Apple decides to merge Bento into the iWork suite, or just make it interoperable, good night Irene. Ooh. Wait. They did.

That warning didn't dissuade me from holding on to my shares.

Somebody just "Digged" a BusinessWeek story from 2001 about why Apple Stores were doomed to fail. Apple has been doomed since 1976, when they introduced that personal computer thingy. Face it, nobody is interested in an expensive gadget like that. In the view of forward-thinking pundits, Apple has been headed for the shitter for 31 years.

You have to wonder how they're going to screw it up this time. The consensus is that Apple TV is a non-starter. Microsoft already failed trying to merge the computer and the TV. Obviously, if Microsoft can't manage it, Apple should just give up. I haven't bought one yet, but I will. I'm waiting for the hacks that let me have a 2Tb drive attached, and rip my HD and Blueray DVDs to it. It's just a matter of time. Somebody will write a program for it or for my Mac that lets me control it. When they do, I'll buy one the next day.

The other thing that might happen is that there might be enough intelligent programming on TV that I'll actually want to turn it on when there isn't an NFL game in HD. You know, stuff I might be interested in downloading. I'm betting on developers and Apple.

Time for a turkey sandwich – sourdough, mayo, salt, turkey breast pulled off the ribs, anything else is red communism.