Dateline Cupertino

Apple sold its millionth iPhone today. Last week Apple announced new iPods (which everyone knew they would). The new iPod nano is significantly different from the last iPod nano (surprise!). Apple discontinued production of the 4GB iPhone and reduced the price of the 8GB iPhone by $200. Leopard hasn't been released yet. Apple did not announce upgrades to the Macintosh line of computers last week, so clearly they are abandoning their flagship computer. Apple may be considering bidding on the 700 MHz frequency band and an Underdog lunchbox with the original Thermos® bottle. The shuffle is now available in harvest gold and avocado so it will go nicely in a '70s retro kitchen. Berkshire-Hathaway has never paid dividends. Steve Jobs announced today that he is considering the ranch dressing and a few extra croutons. Apple's stock rose $4.94 on the news.

I have to go rehearse. Aaargh!