Ten Questions for Apple

Okay. Cult of Mac has nothing on old Rip. They asked 10 Questions Apple Must Answer in 2007.

I have 10 questions I'd like answered in 2007, too. In no particular order:

10. Can Steve Jobs beat Steve Ballmer at arm wrestling? Chess?

How about Battleship? Pinochle? Mumbledy-peg?

9. Will .mac ever feature a MMORPG server?

C'mon. The Windoze guys get Eve Online. Us slobbering Apple fanboys need something to talk about at work to prove that we don't have a life either.

8. Has the switch to Intel pissed Michael Dell off enough to make it worth it?

I'd just like to know for my own amusement.

7. Now that Mac sales are kicking ass, are you starting to think about really going after the Enterprise market?

If not, how about going out and finding all the old good games for Mac and updating them to OS X. You know, Crystal Quest, Dark Castle, Strategic Conquest, Arkanoids, all the old arcade game ports. There has to be a way to make a buck there. Those were great games.

Just a quick follow up question: Is the increase in Mac sales helping make the switch to Intel worth it in terms of Michael Dell being pissed off?

6. Now that Apple has the new campus in Cupertino, how about making Spotlight open in a regular window when you push ⌘-F?

That would be cool.

5. If I got kicked out of the house, how big of a tent would I need to set up a Dual-Quad Mac Pro?

I'm hoping that by combining a windmill, some photovoltaics, and a golf-cart battery, I can still pull all-nighters surfing the Mac blogs. It'll have a 30" Cinema Display.

4. Why doesn't Crazy Apple Rumors have a link on Apple.com?

There are dozens of really good, fun Apple-supporting blogs. Why doesn't Apple formally (or at least informally) recognize all this support in some way? It's good advertising. Why not embrace it?

3. What more can Apple do to send me a free 80 Gb iPod?

I'm willing to be as obsequious as necessary. It would also be nice if it came preloaded with the entire Beatles and Led Zeppelin catalogues. I already have most of it ripped from CDs, but still, it would be nice if I didn't have to spend all that time figuring out which ones I'm missing.

2. Why can't you look up Google on Apple?

It only seems fair.

1. How much time does Steve Jobs spend laughing out loud about all the Apple phone speculation?

I'd love to be there watching him read all this crap and laugh his ass off.