Thursday, December 21, 2006

Apple Telephone Prediction Hotline

RR: Dumbass question hotline, how may I help you.
Caller: What is Apple going to call their Phone?
RR: What phone?
Caller: The one they're going to introduce.
RR: When?
Caller: At MacWorld in January.
RR: Really? Sez who?
Caller: Everybody.
RR: Everybody but Apple.
Caller: Suppose they do introduce a phone at MacWorld. What are they going to call it?
RR: They aren't.
Caller: What do mean by that?
RR: Nobody calls their phone. You use your phone to call someone else's phone.
Caller: I mean, what are they going to name their phone?
RR: I don't know. Fred? Muffy? What did you name your phone? I've never named mine.
Caller: Now that they can't use the name "iPhone," what will they call it?
RR: If it was me, I'd call it 3SS.
Caller: Why?
RR: Because I figure on three stock splits after Apple joins the wireless phone market. If they ever do.
Caller: They've patented stuff that looks an awful lot like it could be a cell phone.
RR: Yes they have. The same stuff looks a lot like a garage door opener remote control, a WiFi networked hand-held game device, or a Walkie-Talkie. For that matter it could be a remote controlled LED security light.
Caller: Everybody knows they're going to introduce a phone. Don't you read the papers?
RR: Yes. But I haven't seen a prediction in "Pearls Before Swine" yet, so I know it isn't real.
Caller: - - - -
RR: Not to be redundant, but are you an idiot or a tech journalist?