Apple Makes Time

The January 22 issue of Time Magazine talks about the Apple, Steve Jobs, and the iPhone.

I'd go find out what is says but that would constitute research. I've already done some of that this month so I'll just guess that the article says something like:

"The iPhone is really cool, but it won't be available until June and doesn't [insert some goofy function that other phones either can't do or break trying to do like removing grass stains from rayon shirts or curing rabies]. And it probably won't keep Steve Jobs out of trouble for the options scandal.

The Apple TV thingy is really nifty too, but it doesn't [insert some idiotic feature like unclogging toilets, reversing male-pattern baldness, leavening bread], and it probably won't be enough to save Steve Jobs from jail for his part in the options scandal.

There should be some blather in there about worldwide computer market share, disappointing predictions from idiot analysts about future earnings, the iPod, and Leopard. Also, the options scandal.

Also, Apple commentator Rob Enderle [no, there isn't a link] wrote some drivel about the iPhone. There's a link on the page for Macalope. The Macalope might have linked the original post. Don't bother, really. It's just silliness.

In the absence of any real news, people are making shit up just to have something to jabber about.



This post is a case in point.

Try the cole slaw with a little béarnaise sauce. It's excellent.

Absolutely Nothing

No News.

There are a few things worthy of rehashing because, after all, today's first NFL Playoff game isn't until 1:00 PST.

At MacWorld last week Apple introduced some stuff:

Apple TV – Way cooler than anybody has figured out yet.

iPhone – This is going to do just what everybody wants a cell phone to do, and it's going to do it right. And it's going to look cooler than a pair of RayBan Wayfarers doing it.

Airport Extreme 802.11n – Home file server for chump change. Faster transfer rates.

I will have at least one of each.

This week Apple published their first quarter earnings. As usual, earnings kicked some major earnings-projection ass. Since Apple's first quarter includes the holidays, all the analysts think they won't do as well this quarter. The stock price went down. It'll be back.

The Month of Apple Bugs is well underway. One major success has been the release of the Storm Worm – a Windows Trojan Horse worm virus thingy. It isn't an Apple bug per se, in that it doesn't affect Macs, but somewhere in the code there has to be an Apple logo.

Neener Neener Neener

Watch out for the Storm Worm.

Yep. There's a new piece of malware out there, and it's a badd'un. It's an email about a big ol' storm in Europe that's killing just scads of people. If you open it you'll find an .exe file attached. If you open that the trojan horse installs on your machine and sends your Visa Card info, shirt size, and the WebMD queries about that rash to some dickweed in Asia.



If you were paying close attention to the above paragraph, you'll notice that the file is ".exe," which savvy Mac users know means "not me."

This means that a lot of Windows folks can upgrade to Vista right away. They're going to be reformatting their hard drives anyway. Might as well boot up the new OS.

You can melt cheddar cheese on Alpo but it's better if you just eat it. The cheese that is.

Another Day in Paradise

Vista vs. OS X

There are a lot of calories being burned in the debate between Vista and OS X. Here at Rip Ragged Laboratories, we have researched extensively to determine which of these two operating systems is better. After slaving over a hot lab assistant for hours, we are ready to announce the results of our work. Let's look at our completely scientific study of the pros and cons of Vista and OS X.

Vista: Pros

It has a lot of the same stuff as the current version of OS X.

The interface looks different than XP (a huge selling point, I'm told)

You can still get software specifically designed for a laundromat, an aquarium repair shop, and an online Indian Motorcycle parts shop.

OS X: Pros

It is OS X.

The interface looks different from XP (Thank you, Apple).

It doesn't suck.

Vista: Cons

It costs more than OS X.

It has more versions than Bill Clinton at a grand jury deposition.

It does suck.

OS X: Cons

On Intel Macs, you can run Windows.

My work computer is a Dell.

I'm far more likely to pull out my fingernails with a pair of serving tongs than to purchase Windows.

That is my – completely objective – scientific assessment of the differences between two of the major players in the OS universe. If you disagree feel free to leave comments for me to make fun of.

Hey. Did that thing move?