More News About MacWorld

Everywhere you look on the web, except a few of the seedier porn sites, there is news about MacWorld.

Financial analysts, Tech journalists, bloggers, PC World, Forbes, Fortune, the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, BusinessWeek, Woman's Day, Popular Mechanics, RC Modeler, Penthouse, you name it. Everybody knows what Steve Jobs is going to say in the Keynote address. So far, all the analysts agree that pizza is okay cold if you absolutely have to eat something. Here's the stuff they think must be on the way.

• A phone. Probably an iPod phone. More likely an iPod/PDA/Phone. No. Wait. A VOiP phone. No, that's not right. Maybe an iPod/PDA/VOiP/Cell phone with a built-in popcorn popper.

• A tablet computer. Everybody wants a tablet computer. Maybe the tablet computer will also be an iPod/PDA/VOip/Cell phone with an attached swimming pool skimmer.

• A set top box that will allow the streaming of Silly String (R) from the computer to the TV.

• A MacPro with Dual Quad Core chips, 3 Tb of HD, bucket seats, chrome tail pipes, and four-on-the-floor.

• Enterprise stuff. Big ol' servers and software that will make an IT guy's sticker peck out.

• Canned sliced cling peaches in "lite" syrup.

Days 5 | Bugs 2

It's day five of the Month of Apple Bugs. So far, I've only read about one that's Apple specific and one that might attack a Mac, maybe. I've read about these bugs on Slashdot, but I'm not geeky enough to understand what it all means.

I am pretty good at math, though. When somebody says they're going to do something once a day for a whole month, and on day five they've done it twice, that means they're three short. I would never suggest that Kevin Finisterre and LMH (Little Mutt Humper?) are completely full of shit, but that is the kind of thing someone who is completely full of shit would do.

In other news, the Apple/Macintosh press is approaching MacWorld with all the calm objectivity of a fistfight in a whorehouse. Near as I can tell Apple is going to introduce one of everything at MacWorld this year. I'm not certain but I think the list includes a chainsaw, a chafing dish, men's hats, a collection of decorative wicker baskets, and an Apple-branded Kleenex dispenser.

I'm going to put my foil hat on and go to bed.

Earth Shattering News

Apple is involved in lawsuits. It's all over the news. They're being sued for monopolistic practices, patent and copyright infringement, people who turn their music up too loud, and probably for injuries caused when someone tried to microwave an iPod.

Can you imagine?

In other news ---

The Keynote at MacWorld Expo is in SIX DAYS. Steve Jobs is expected to announce a universal remote control/VOIP-cellular phone/PDA/iPod/personal massager/GPS unit. The expected wunder-product will do everything except mince garlic. Belkin and Creative Labs will announce competing garlic-mincer attachments before the end of the month.

Also, he'll reveal the real name for iTV.

It's day three of Bug-a-day month. So far we have two. Yo! LMH (whatever the hell that stands for: Look Mom, Hype!) Where is today's bug? The suspense is killing me. Okay. No it isn't.

Pizza's here.

The Month of Apple Bugs

It's day two of the Month of Apple Bugs.

I had a cup of Millstone "Bite of Seattle" blend while I surfed around looking for the new bugs. They're way too geeky for me to understand. Another guy named Landon Fuller– and I'm just too damned lazy to go read the whole story – is doing a month of Apple Bug fixes.

Weirdly, the whole thing looks like a pretty positive development all the way around. I still want to know what LMH stands for.

Not much else going on. Mom made pork chops and mixed vegetables for dinner. We're also having a green salad. I think after dinner we'll play a little three-handed pinochle.

My new job starts in two weeks.

I'm really nervous.

The Silver Lining

Ten things to be happy about as we enter the new year.

1. There is still no law requiring the consumption of was beans, okra, tofu, or sushi.

2. Pizza delivery.

3. Every episode of M*A*S*H is available on DVD.

4. Another year has passed without malware infecting Macs in the wild.

5. India Pale Ale.

6. To slow roast a rare Prime Rib, preheat the oven to 450 ºF. Put the roast in. After 20 minutes, turn the oven down to 225 and cook it for 15 minutes per pound. About an hour before you think it should be done stick a meat thermometer in the thickest part of the roast. Take the roast out when the internal temperature is 130 ºF. Let it sit undisturbed for 15 minutes before serving.

7. It works.

8. New York Cheesecake (No cherries, no chocolate, no tree fruit. Thank you.)

9. Did I mention India Pale Ale?

10. Steve Hutchinson's big fat contract means he'll get to watch the playoffs in High-Definition. His former teammates will miss him.