In Defense.

There were comments to the last post to the effect that I made fun of Windows users.

The nature of the comment was that we Mac users should be kinder and gentler towards our Windows-using brethren. I'm a peace-loving troll/fanboy, so I'd like to extend the pimiento-stuffed, vermouth-soaked olive jar. All I ask in exchange is 5 oz. of Bombay gin, chilled.

After carefully re-reading all of my posts since the end of the Carter administration, I have determined that I have NEVER made fun of a category of people called "Windows users." I have made fun of people who have said idiotic things. It is quite by coincidence that those people were Windows users.

What I have said repeatedly is that every product Apple currently sells is "best in class." Ergo, the entire remainder of the computer industry can only struggle to achieve second rate. I don't really want to hurt the feelings of Windows users. The best way to accomplish that is for there to be fewer of them. Because, frankly, there are always going to be a percentage of people who are offended by hearing that their third-rate-cheesy-ass knock-off-crash-prone-security-nightmare of an operating system is a third-rate-cheesy-ass knock-off-crash-prone-security-nightmare of an operating system.

So, if you're a Windows user who likes to point out how offended you are by us Mac fanboys: Please, feel free to hang out. Look insulted. Complain, bitch, snivel, moan, cry, whine, bellyache, sound off, gripe, and kvetch. Because I can't think of anything funnier than people who are offended by insults to a frigging operating system.

Would you break down and cry if I insulted your car tires? Whether you use butter or margarine? How about your brand of frigging toilet paper? Are you touchy about that? I'm thinking that a snide remark about your brand of shoes will drive you off the ledge onto the unforgiving pavement below. Are you that defensive about your dogdamn lawn?

No. I never make fun of Windows people. But I'll be glad to start. Just show me one.

Dang. We're out of ice cream.