Thursday, August 09, 2007

At The PC World Recommendations Desk

Baffled Serviceperson: Good afternoon. How can I help you.

Potential Customer: I'm thinking about buying a computer. What should I buy?

BS: You should buy a Dell or an HP; possibly a Gateway or an Acer; maybe a Sony or a Panasonic.

PC: Why?

BS: They run Windows. Everybody uses Windows.

PC: I've heard that Macintosh is pretty good. What about one of those?

BS: Nope. You don't want one of those. Nobody uses those.

PC: Aren't they more secure?

BS: Nope. Just this year there was a whole Month of Apple Bugs on the internet. It was awful.

PC: I've heard there were only five or six viruses that could infect the Mac. And that you have to be stupid enough to install them from spam to make them work.

BS: That's because nobody uses Macs. If lots of people used them there would be lots of hacks, believe you me.

PC: I heard Macs are a lot easier to use.

BS: Sure. If all you want is easy. Easy is for dummies though. People who really know how to use a computer use Windows.

PC: What about Linux? What's that all about?

BS: Well, Linux is kinda like Windows, except it isn't as easy to install. You can get Linux as an option on some of your better computers, like Dell.

PC: Somebody told me I can run Windows and Linux on a Mac. Is that true?

BS: Yeah, but Macs are expensive. You can't a get a Mac for less than $500. The cheap Macs don't even come with a keyboard or a mouse or a monitor. And Macs have almost no software written for them because no one uses them.

PC: What are you using?

BS: Well... I... Um...

PC: You're using a Mac, aren't you. Huh?

BS: Well...

PC: Oh, you flaming bag of shit. You're hoping to ring up my PC purchase on a Mac aren't you?

BS: Well, yeah. I guess.