Happy Thanksgiving

Well, dang. This here little blog is almost a year old and still just as useless as an unmated sock. That hasn't stopped me from rambling on about nothing though. We Apple fanboys can look back on a good 2007, and be thankful that we don't have to downgrade to XP.

January

The Month of Apple Bugs. Has anyone heard the letters LMH used recently? Whoever that person was just disappeared. Damn. And Vista. Nothing sells Macs like Vista.


February

Steve Jobs says DRM sucks. Some guy named Amoroso wrote that Apple should give Fair Play to MacroVision. Kevin Finisterre (of the barely remembered partnering with LMH for the MOAB) did an interview with the BBC in which he said that Apple and its customers aren't very nice. Nanny nanny boo boo. Vista sucked in February.

March

Vista continued to suck. Michael Dell took over again as CEO of Dell. George Ou wrote something inflammatory about Steve Jobs being a nazi or something like that.

April

Somebody threatened a female blogger. Somebody else suggested that we should start a "Blogger Code of Conduct" to prevent that kind of thing. I have a blogger code of conduct that prevents that kind of thing. I call it "gunpowder." Threaten me or my family and, in simple self-defense, I empty a clip in your ass. It's a simple rule.

Also somebody identified a virus on the iPod. The exploit required that the iPod be running Linux, but morons got page hits out of it anyway. Vista continued to draw a vacuum that could collapse a chain link fence. The Zune continued to have market share numbers to the right of the decimal point. EMI and Apple announced some DRM-free tracks on iTunes. I'm not sure which ones, but I'd be willing to bet you can get The Carpenter's Greatest Hits without copy protection.

May

This was the month of D: All Things Digital. Steve Jobs took the stage with Bill Gates in an imitation of the "Buy a Mac" ads. Except they were even nicer to each other than the guys in the commercials. You almost got the feeling that they were going to pick out curtains afterwards. Gack. Vista sucked. Zune, too.

June

Apple released the iPhone. Lots of people bought them. As I'm writing this, lots of people continue to buy them. As near as I can tell, Vista and the Zune sucked in June.

July

John C. Dvorak reported that he used a Mac and liked it – at least one of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse. The reasons he was using a Mac probably involved Vista sucking. Zunes continued to be rare in the wild. Somebody hacked an iPhone.

August

Universal taught Apple a lesson by failing to sell very many DRM-free tracks in other places while continuing to sell DRM tracks on iTunes. So Universal spent a bunch of money to sell music unsuccessfully other places, while continuing to sell the same amount of music on iTunes. Hmmm. Universal must have lost money on that deal. Cutting off your nose to spite somebody else's face? Kinda made me wonder how much money they're willing to flush down the toilet to teach ol' Steve a lesson.

September

The bottle under the sink says it's poison. It says you shouldn't drink it. The person who sold it to you told you that drinking it might kill you. When you bought it you promised not to drink it. You read the warning. You told all your friends about the warning. Everybody on the planet knew you shouldn't drink that stuff. You drank it and got sick. Then you decided to sue the guy who sold it to you. The iPhone 1.1.1 update proved that there is no way to plumb the depth of human stupidity.

It also proved that some people who write hacks think they are above the law or any reasonable sense of morals. Jerks.

Apple built a bonfire with live kittens on the street in front of 1 Infinite Loop and changed their logo to a red swastika. Not really. Actually it was worse than that. They dropped the price of the iPhone by $200 and discontinued the 4 Gb model. Cities burned. Civilization nearly collapsed. I think we had beef for dinner that night.

October

Leopard is shipped to the great unwashed (including me). It rocks, totally. Time Machine is cooler than my old red velvet bell bottoms, my big-collar-rayon American Flag shirt, and my red, white, and blue platform shoes. Hey, it was 1974. I was stylin'.

Okay. The folder icons are lame.

NBC is teaching Apple a lesson now. It's all part of the whole Universal thing. No great loss. I, for one, won't miss lame-ass sitcoms and reality TV on iTunes.

November

Malware has been introduced for the Mac. In order to get infected, you have to voluntarily give a porn site root access. You go first.

Edgar Bronfman, CEO of Warner Music, said intelligent things regarding the digital age as it relates to entertainment this month. Maybe the other entertainment bosses will get a clue.

Nah.

Actual, real news:

Just today, Heiss Security identified a Mail vulnerability that allows a file masquerading as something else to go to your terminal and execute commands. Don't open any jpegs from strangers until Apple issues a patch. As near as I know there are no identified exploits yet.

And so, tomorrow officially begins the Holiday Season. After about thirty days of non-stop Holiday nonsense, you can even get tired of Grandma got Run Over by a Reindeer and I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas.

Happy Thanksgiving.