I'm Redecorating.

I was going to rearrange the furniture, but I like the armoire right where it is.

And while we're on the topic, was somebody bringing me a fresh beer?

Let's talk about important stuff.

Apple TV: Fortune thinks it sucks. I think Fortune sucks. I also think YouTube sucks, but who am I? Apple TV is Apple, doing TV. Apple will listen to the screams of horror and tweak it until they get it right.

iPod: Next question.

iTunes (Plus, U, etc.): All the others will say, "Hey. We're offerring all the same stuff they are. We have stuff they don't even have. What the fuck. Over. (explanation to follow)

Mac: Every other computing platform on the planet can only hope to gain the coveted right to be compared to the Mac. Frigging losers.

iPhone: Let's see. The iPhone is world class software wrapped up in the world's best industrial design. The competition is the LG Prada: crappy hacks running on a cheesy imitation.

Leopard: Could be renamed "Leapfrog." Okay? Leopard is in the enviable position of throwing its full weight against the door and finding it open. There ain't shit to compete. Windows weenies using old Vaios are going to see this in American Lit 201 and go, "MOM. I need one of THOSE."

Vista: Nope.

Zune: What?!

That table thing: I just have to ask myself, "Why?" Was there some pent up demand for a digital ottoman that I missed?

Zune: What?!

Ubuntu: Sounds like dogs fucking when I say it.

Oops. Time for my medication.

Oh yeah. That explanation. Apple (Steve Jobs) watches a market not develop (mp3 players, digital media distribution), figures out why people aren't interested, and then enters with both pistols blazing. Apple knows the living room is fertile soil. They've made a guess at the reason. By the time anyone figures out what works, it will be Apple's to lose.

Two? I hafta take two of those?

I guess I'm going to bed.