Friday, May 25, 2007


If you want to be a fanboy and hang out here, ya gotta be tough. I know. You don't want your boss to know you've been reading this politically incorrect crap. Too late. I already sent him the whole frigging history. And your comments. You're in. Get over it.

News of the iPod Killer

The Zune development team is offering amnesty for employees who give up their iPods and switch to Zunes. What kind of amnesty is that?

Here. Wear this clunky piece of shit that adds DRM to mp3s you ripped from your own CDs. You can be one of us now. Go ahead. Hang this brown-transistor-radio looking brick around your neck. What difference does it make? You're on the Zune development team. It isn't like you were going to get laid, anyway.

Additionally, team members who turn in their functional devices before midnight tonight will get a Microsoft Windows Logo piece of tape for their horn-rims, a new pocket protector and a lifetime supply of white crew socks.

Being in at the Rip Ragged, or being in at the Zune Development Laboratory and Zitfest? You pick.

News of the iPhone Killer

iPhone killer. Yee. Haw. Everybody is scared of the iPhone. So far Apple hasn't sold a single one and all the cockroaches are scampering out of the light. I'm well into July's research budget. I googled "iPhone killer" and came up with a few challengers. Here are some of our contestants.

Google the Helio Ocean. It looks more like a PSP than a phone. It has a slide-out keyboard, a shitload of buttons, and it was supposed to be available last month. Seen one? Me either.

Then go find the Neo1973, made by OpenMoko. It's supposed to be a Linux-based phone. It was supposed to be shipping in March, or thereabouts. It's cheaper than the iPhone, shipping sooner, running Linux. It's practically the same thing, and it's frigging open source. You can get it in green, silver, or orange. So ask your friends to show you their's.

If you really want to piss away perfectly useful bandwidth, engadget in January showed pictures of an iPhone next to an LG Prada with the caption "...separated at birth?" The funny thing is that they seem serious even though the pictures clearly show that one of the two looks like a science fair project, while the other one will be in the next James Bond movie.

News of Dell

Dell is going to sell computers with Ubuntu installed. They're going to charge a $50 "Windows tax." The world of Windows computing is disintegrating before our very eyes. In case you need a translation:

Dell: Ballmer, stick it up your ass.

Windows is soon to be the OS the poor can't afford and the knowledgeable won't use. That means the entire Windows market will soon be the affluent stupid: The government, and corporate IT. That will sustain Redmond for a while, but pretty soon they're going to need some more industry over in East Seattle.

Important Stuff

17 Days until the WWDC Keynote.