This Just In

I just checked the teletype machine. It says Apple is kicking some serious butt.

Things you can go read if you want to, say:

Apple is setting a new standard for retailing.

Tiger is better than Vista.

Apple TV is going to do what Microsoft Media Center didn't: invade the living room.

The iPhone is going to be wicked cool.

Everybody who ever even thought about making a phone wants to build something like the iPhone.

K-Fed still loves Britney.

Flock of Bat-boys invades Peoria, Illinois.

Verne Troyer is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.

UAC stands for Useless Annoying Crap.

In other developments

Some peanuthead named Ou (Pronounced: Eeeeew) has stated that Steve Jobs is behaving like George Gobels. No, wait, he said "Gerbils." I thought he was talking about the old comic on Hollywood Squares. Possibly he's confusing rats and mice and men. You can look him up and read his stuff if you want. I don't. Thank the heavens we have Macalope. Macalope is willing to go read that dross. The rest of us don't have to give page views to putzes. Eeeeew doesn't seem to be able to keep his vertebrate mammals straight, but it's okay. He doesn't know diddly-squat about computers either.

iPods are still selling pretty well.

MacBooks and MacBook Pros are still doing okay.

Several analysts are picking Apple stock to break $120 this year. Me too.

In case you missed it: California Steve is about to give Washington Steve a wedgie and a dutch rub.