Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Conspiracy Theories

It's time to tell the truth about the conspiracy to destroy Maynor and Ellch.

First of all, the lone gunman theory is scientifically unfeasible. There were credible witnesses who heard multiple shots fired. It was Elvis, under the direction of J. Edgar Hoover and Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon was actually a space alien whose captured ship and dead crew members were quarantined in Area 51. J. Edgar Hoover, and later Louis Freeh were part of a huge coverup of CIA agents using members of the Black Panthers, and several members of the Ray Conniff Singers and the New Christie Minstrels, as stooges for LSD tests on inner city typewriter repairmen.

As will sometimes happen when innocent situations get out of control, Alderaan was blasted to smithereens, and The Berenstain Bears kicked the shit out of an entire legion of Imperial Storm Troopers.

Lynn Fox was last seen on the grassy knoll.

Elvis is still alive, but he doesn't really remember what he had for breakfast. And he soils himself at least daily.

No Tribbles were harmed in the publication of this blog post.