Friday, February 29, 2008

Insert Title Here

Okay, there's an interesting pair of stories out there that to me indicate we're in a lot of trouble.

1. Microsoft has big plans for Sync.

2. Vista sucks.

In the first story, it seems that Microsoft wants to track your movements so they can sell ads for you to see and hear in your car. They're convinced that you won't mind having advertisements jammed up your ass while you're driving. They want to track what you like, where you like to eat, what you like to do, so wherever you are they can advertise the nearest one and tell you how to get there.

In the second story, top Microsoft executives have, poetically, gotten a lousy user experience from Vista.

So here's Microsoft. They took six years to build the laughing stock of operating systems. An operating system so bad they can't even get it working right for the top brass. This selfsame company wants to distract people moving two tons of metal, glass, luggage, groceries, and passengers at freeway speeds. They want to sell advertising, with a popup on the dashboard.

If people wanted to listen to ads, there wouldn't be iPods. Okay? Advertising isn't going to get me to the best seafood restaurant in the area. It's going to get me to the greasy fish and chips joint that bought an ad.

Worse than that, Sync is going to track where you are, what you like to do, where you're most likely going, and probably get it wrong. I mean, let's face it. We're talking about the same company that makes Access. It will probably cooperate with local law enforcement and keep them abreast of your speed and whereabouts. Hell, it might print out a speeding ticket via bluetooth on your home printer. Not only will you have to pay the ticket, but you'll have to buy more ink, too.

The only upside to all this is that it probably won't work at all. But if it's anything like Vista, it will crash your car and lose your groceries and your Aunt Sally. Then you'll have to call tech support. When you restart, Aunt Sally will be there twice. Naked. And she'll insist that you call her Ingrid.

Me? I'm getting a Chevy. An OLD Chevy.

I read somewhere that if you use Safari you shouldn't use PayPal or something like that. Security.

Dell missed analysts predictions. Analysts predicted that Michael Dell would meet people who shared many of his interests and that he should devote more time to his artistic endeavors. Also, today is a seven. Oh, no. Wait. That was astrologists, not analysts. Anyway, apparently the broader market is discovering that when measured against the standard, "computers that don't suck beagle weenies," Dell doesn't rank very highly.

Oh, I guess I forgot to mention this: Microsoft is lowering the price of Vista. It won't be long before they're giving it away free as a promo with car washes and carpet shampoos.

About this time next year, Microsoft will be negotiating for all those CD burners AOL isn't using anymore. Vista discs will start showing up in boxes of Special K and folded into the Sunday newspaper circulars. Pleasepleasepleaseplease use our new OS.

Note: Leopard still rocks.

Note II: Seriously rocks.

I may or may not make any entries this weekend. I'll be spending the weekend with my daughter. The one with the 3.85 GPA in her Junior year at college. Oh, yeah. This could involve shopping. Wish me luck. I hope I don't end up with very many pairs of shoes.