Sunday, February 24, 2008

First Ever Rip Ragged Contest

The annual Hollywood Festival of Smug is tonight.

Yup. The Oscars.

I'm not going to watch a single second of the pomp, the pageantry, the perversion, and the poltroonish political posturing. That isn't to say that there is no chance of seeing something worthwhile at the Oscars, just that sitting through the whole show on the off chance something will interest me, doesn't interest me.

You guys go ahead.

Here's the contest: Name one thing that is less interesting or useful than the Academy Awards.

Entries will be judged based on whimsy, caprice, and arbitrary opinions. There are no objective criteria. The winning entry will be in tomorrow night's first post, with full credit to the author. The winner will also receive a voucher that will, with your valid credit card, permit you to buy plane tickets and a hotel room anywhere in the world, assuming you've paid your card down enough since Christmas.

I'm also kind of interested to see if anything really unusual happens. You know, like a movie with actual merit getting an award for something other than a fifth tier category (Best Use of Papîer Maché and Rubber Bands in an Animated Short Documentary).

Note: Who or what wins various awards only matters if it's Eddie Murphy (or anything to do with Norbit), or Lindsay Lohan (likewise, anything to do with I Know Who Killed Me). That would be weird enough to take note of. It would also indicate that the Academy is still, even after Brokeback Mountain, trying to plumb the depths for absolute rock bottom.

That's enough.

Is there still such a thing as a Zune? I haven't heard much about them lately.

Vista appears to continue to suck.

My sources tell me Apple is going to announce something on Tuesday. I can't confirm or deny anything, but I think it will have something to do with digital something-or-other. Don't quote me. Remember what happened to Think Secret. Holy crap. Black Helicopters?

Gotta run.