Apple Shares Trading at New All-Time High

More earth-shattering news:

Apple introduced a faster computer.

Nothing ruins a martini like too much vermouth. Especially sweet vermouth.

Marc Andreessen is back on a Mac. Wow. One of the pioneers of the internet is just now realizing that Windows sucks a big one.

The iPhone is going to be pretty popular.

There are some people in the Middle East who don't like America very much.

The Mac is gaining market share.

The Apple II was introduced 30 years ago.

The iPhone is the coolest thing on this particular planet, beating out the iPod by a few fractions of a degree (Kelvin).

Vista sucks.

It is impossible to lick chocolate off of your own elbow. Peanut butter is even tougher.

Global warming is a transparent ruse designed to make the middle class feel guilty for enjoying it.

My two-year-old Tiger is the best operating system on the periphery of this galaxy.

Every weight loss program that promises you can eat as much as you want of anything you want and still lose weight is lying. There is no pill for fat. Never has been, never will be.

Apple is technologically at least five years ahead of everything.

Everything.

Yeah. That too.

Salad? That's what my dinner eats.

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