Apple Domination. Shut up. Okay?

Um. People. What in the hell is all this snuffling about "Apple domination of the computer market?" It'll be good. It'll be bad. It won't matter. It'll suck. It'll never happen.

Folks, Apple is taking over. Just relax. This won't hurt a bit. The check is in the mail. The keys are in the car. You can't judge a book by its cover. A stitch in time saves nine. Over the hills and far away. Her Majesty is a pretty nice girl. Don't give me that do-goody-good bullshit.

Right now, people who don't know squat about computers and have the money to buy a real one, can afford a Mac. A good percentage of them will buy one. Some of them will also get a dozen eggs and a wicker trivet.

People who know something about computers and can afford to buy a real one, can afford a Mac. A large percentage of them will buy one. Maybe two. They may also take up macramé and have a small salad with their dinner.

Bureaucrats and corporate IT types will be reluctant, but will come around in time. Right now, they're buying Dell/HP/Windows and Linux servers. They think they have to.

A lot of the market share numbers come from Bob Shippingclerk and Mary Benefitsadministrator. They don't care this much about XP vs. X. If they need a new computer, they'll ask their friends what they bought. As more and more of their friends say "iMac," more and more ordinary Mikes and Lindas will say, "You have a booger showing. Other side." But only if they're talking to really good friends. Everybody else can just run around looking like that.

Here's proof that Apple is already capturing mindshare in the market. These are things you never hear:

Mom's Zune pie
A Microsoft a day keeps the doctor away
The XBox of her eye
Comparing Dells and oranges
An HP for the teacher
The Vista never falls far from the tree
Bobbing for Acers
Adam's Vaio
Polishing up the Linux

You see what I'm saying here? Master Jobst Fimil had this all planned out from the very outset. And I don't know about you, but if he ever has boogers showing, I've never noticed. So if you ever want to talk to me about Apple dominating the computer market, you obviously have too much time on your hands.

I'm pretty sure we have some more olive oil.