Friday, April 06, 2007

The Week in Review

Dimmwitted Vague Opinions, Rants, And Kookiness

J.C. Dipshit made some more comments over on MarketWatch. They aren't Mac specific comments, just a general observation that technology in general isn't living up to his lofty expectations. He writes useless and meaningless comments a lot, and makes a living at it. In much same way as Raw Benderly, and George EEeeeew. Proof that ignorance, even in your chosen field of expertise, is no boundary to a comfortable life.

So kids, remember: If you pay really close attention in 9th grade English, buy a thesaurus and a dictionary, you don't have to know anything about anything to make a living commenting on everything. Be an industry columnist. Be a consultant.

Just state an opinion. Ignore incompatible facts. When faced with incompatible facts, call them opinions. Better than that, when attacked with measurable, verifiable data call the attacker a zealot.

When defending your opinions, use your previous opinions as facts. The great part is you can be wrong every single time, just like a weatherman or an economist, and the idiots keep paying you. J.C. Dipshit has been wrong about technology in general (and Apple specifically) at least once a month for twenty years.

Virus Alert

Important alert: There is a virus out there that could infect your iPod. The virus, once installed, infects all the files on your iPod's hard drive. Here's how to avoid getting it. Either of these two steps is 100% effective in protecting your iPod from the current threat:

1. Don't install Linux on your iPod.

2. Don't deliberately install the virus.

If you install Linux on your iPod, then deliberately install a virus that infects all your files, you will have serious problems. The least of your problems will be that your iPod is hosed - mostly because it's running Linux. Your larger problem will be that you're a tech-weenie with essentially no chance of getting laid because you're preoccupied with outsmarting inanimate objects and crowing about it like you just won a Geo Metro on Wheel of Fortune. That overripe strawberry above your right eyebrow won't help much either.

Dual Quad Mac

Some moron on the web, somewhere, said that the fully tricked out version of the new Mac Pro is too expensive. I didn't leave comments on his site because, frankly, I was busy. What with shelling a peanut, breathing, and scratching myself, I was just booked solid.

It seems that the whole package with Dual-quad 3 GHz processors, 3 TB of hard drives, 16 GB of RAM, and the bigole video card for the 30" Cinema Display rings the register at about $13K. Too much money. Well, I have to agree that I wish it was in my price range, because I really want one. I also want a Lamborghini, a mansion in Beverly Hills, and a busty, 25-year old, blond personal trainer named Inga. That's all a little out of my price range. That doesn't mean it's all too expensive. I just don't really need that stuff. (If Inga didn't kill me, my wife would. Definitely not on my "to do" list.)

If you need that computer, thirteen grand is in your price range. If you can't afford it, you don't need it.

If you think that means it's too expensive, you don't own stock in Apple.

Digital Retards Moan (DRM)

With regard to the EMI-Apple announcement about DRM, if you don't know about it you don't give a shit. It's possible to know about it and not give a shit. I'm living proof.

The only interesting thing in all this DRM bitching is that Apple and EMI have done precisely what the anti-DRM crowd asked them to. Steve Jobs said in his letter that he would happily ditch DRM if the record companies would. He told the truth there. The Linux-open-source-anti-DRM said they would be willing to pay more for unfettered music files. Got that.

They said they didn't want to pay full price for an album that they already own part of. Got that.

They said they wanted higher sampling rates. Got that.

They're still bitching.

I've finally figured it out. Apple is Microsoft's polar opposite in so many things. Treatment by the mainstream ("mainstream," in the Rip Ragged dictionary means: "dumber than a sack of wet socks.") media is no exception.

Apple fanboys say, "Microsoft's only mission is monopoly power over technology. Customers get sufficient lip service to promote the mission. Therefore Microsoft is evil."

Apple critics say, "Apple is evil. Therefore, no matter how good it looks on the surface, we must expose the deeper evil."

Oh well.


Apple computers running OS X are technologically superior to anything running any version of Windows.

It's my blog. I can say that if I want.

If you don't like it, tough tiddly-winks.

Okay. That's enough.