Vista Released

Vista was released by Microsoft today in New York. The stench annoyed citizens as far away as Jersey City.

"Who farted?" One resident commented.

"A cross between baby-shit and hangover breath is what I'd call it," another resident, two barstools down from the first, offered.

Microsoft chose New York because it is the furthest city away from Redmond that would allow the release. An anonymous source within the company said, "We'd have been run out of Seattle. All those displaced California liberals would have had kittens if we'd have stunk up the place. The first choice was Miami, but the locals didn't want to upset the old snowbirds from Minnesota."

In its own defense, Vista said, "Hey. I didn't give a damn where they released me. I just wanted the hell out of Redmond. Five years of that crap, and do you think I got any better? Huh? Well? They dressed me all up like somebody else's OS, then gave me more useless and disabled features than a truckload of rusty Leathermen (R). I need a shower and some clean drawers."